We started the bike today.  This was not as easy as it sounds because neither of us had ridden for a few weeks in November and early December and the last time I tried to start it, there wasn’t enough battery power to kick it over.  We had several rainy days just before I left for Florida, so the task of jump starting it was left for the new year.

I needed to charge the battery, so I went for about a two hour ride.  It’s been a while - usually I just take the bike on errands around town - and I’d sort of forgotten how much I like to go with no destination in mind.  It helps clear the mind a bit and I miss that.  I think I’ll want to make a tradition of doing a ride on New Years (well actually within the first week).

I had a nice visit in Florida.  I had lots of old photos bulk-scanned recently, so I took Mom’s nap times to label the files.  In many cases, the original photos had info typed on the back, but if I needed more info, I would put the photo aside and ask her about it when she woke up.  It was a great reminisce for her and helped me get them organized.  I made a trip to St. Petersburg to meet in person a guy I’ve been chatting with online; he and his partner were charming,  We all went out to dinner and chatted way too late.  I hope to see them again on the next trip.  My brother and his family arrived torward the end of my trip (I was staying at their place) and we had a nice time catching up.

Wednesday was a long day - got up at 4AM to make a 7AM flight on the east coast and stayed up past midnight on the west coast.  The New Year’s Eve party we went to included a polar bear plunge at midnight (for southern California, a heated pool qualifies as a ‘polar bear plunge’ - we’re weather wimps).  That, too, I would like to make a New Year tradition.

We hosted a potluck dinner yesterday for over 20 of our friends.  That about stretched space and our plates to the limit, but it was a lot of fun.  And if it’s true that what you do on New Year’s Day you’ll be doing all year, I’m glad we spent it with friends.

Since I have some free time this Christmas (I’m in Florida visiting my mother, but she’s heading to sleep by 7:30), I decided it’s a good time to review my New Year’s goals from January. For reference they were:

1. Start my own business - I’ve been wanting to do this for many years, and I’m getting tired of it being item 7 or 8 on my list, so this year I’m moving it to the top.
2. Write a play for a contest - I took a playwriting class several years ago and still have the bug, but have found I don’t actually do it unless I have a real deadline.
3. Scan the box of old photos in the closet - I’ve been putting this one off for years, although I’ve never actually written it down on a ‘to do’ list.
4. Join a Spanish chat site - what better way to learn the language?
5. Do 1 powerlifting meet - just to keep in practice….
6. Learn to juggle - just for fun

How I did

1. Mixed - I did quit my job; got a few clients but not what you’d call a “successful” business and I took a contract technical writing job to pay the mortgage.  Still it was not a failure; I learned a lot about my confidence (and the gaps) in selling myself.  That will be useful for the next venture - and there will be one, but I may start it as a side business.

2. I actually submitted two plays to two different contests.  Did not win or place in either, but it showed me that I can put together a story in a reasonable timeframe.  Oh and it reinforced the fact that I need a real deadline to do it.

3. I’m partway there on this one.  I did the first big job - purging the photos.  I had a service do the scanning so now I have the second big job - labeling them. I ended up with about 1900 photos; this represents my life before I had a digital camera.  I figure it will take me most of 2009 to finish this task.  Fortunately it’s one you only have to do once.  The plus side is the memories that go with each picture.

4. Dropped the ball on this one entirely.  I did finish the Rosetta Stone lessons (all 3 levels), but not really using it.

5. I had what I considered quite a successful meet in St. Louis in July.  The bonus is that I took and passed the national referee test, which is something I hadn’t put in the list.

6. Dropped the ball on this one; got as far as checking out a local circus school, but the schedule wasn’t convenient.  I guess it wasn’t as important as I thought.

So it was a mixed year all the way around.  In January 2010, I turn 50, so I’m going to delay making “New Years” goals and instead set some things I want to do before that birthday.

A few random thoughts from the week and the trip to Florida:

Free Time is an illusion; no time is free - it always costs something, namely the lost opportunity to do something else.

A drink sent from first class to coach does not get delivered; not sure what that means in a larger, philosophical context, but it is true.

When we are very young, we get warm clothes for Christmas; when we are very old we get warm clothes for Christmas.

Non-Christians have the biggest Christmas displays.

In this special time of year, I wish you only the best, whatever that really is.

Every time I’m off work I’m amazed at how busy I am.

I finished purging my old photos, so last Saturday I drove to Orange County to have them scanned.  I guess that makes me a southern Californian.  To be fair, while I was up there I also went to a used parts dealer to see if I could find a part for my car (didn’t have it) and did some comparison pricing for a Christmas gift.

Last weekend several people we know all had holiday parties; we managed to have a reasonable amount of time catching up with friends at each of them.  I guess we’re really San Diegans.

Yesterday we drove up to Palm Springs the back way over the mountains; it was nothing short of spectacular.  The mountains are covered with snow and it reminded us of Colorado.  We’re up here for a friend’s birthday party.  Now that our condo is on the market, I’m aware of real estate prices; for once I’m finding Palm Springs affordable, but still think we want to stay in San Diego for the forseeable future.   We get up here a few times a year; it seems very familiar.  I guess I’m a southern Californian.

I don’t do it often, but allow me a moment to complain….

We’ve been dealing with months of single income earnings (and now no income) with a dual-income mortgage, major disappointments in John’s job search, a health scare with him, tenants in our rental condo requesting lower rent, and my car coming up on a big scheduled maintenance.

Then yesterday I get a jury summons.

So I’m just hoping that we’re getting all the bad news out of the way at one time and we can start 2009 fresh.

But then I’m usually the optimistic one.

It’s been almost 3 weeks since I posted an entry here.   The short story is that we saw two shows, I took a CPR class to continue my personal trainer certification, spent a great Thanksgiving with friends, took them to wine country, saw a movie, and my contract at work ended.

One of the shows we saw was the musical “Xanadu”.  As the ads say,  ’seriously’.  Yes it’s based on the movie and yes it’s still cheesy, but they poke fun at themselves (Cyclops and a Centaur singing “Have you never been mellow?”)  but there’s actually a bit more heft to it than the movie.

The contract ending means we’re officially both unemployed at the same time.  That has never happened to use before, especially when we have a mortgage that takes both incomes.  It is, as they say in “Xanadu”, “a place nobody dared to go”.  Let’s just say it’s going to be a challenging time.

The local newspaper today had an article asking why San Diego had the largest protest march against Proposition 8 of any city in the country.  According to the local police, there were over 20,000 people marching last Saturday in San Diego.  There were literally marches all over the country, but San Diego had more people than San Francisco and Los Angeles combined.

The local newspaper said our mayor’s outing of his daughter last year and the fact that a major donor to the Proposition 8 campaign has a high profile business here are the reasons for this.  I think the reason has more to do with the character of the city.  In San Francisco and Los Angeles, it is very easy for a gay person to interact only with other gay people - you can work for a gay owned company and shop exclusively at gay owned stores and live in an apartment in a gay neighborhood; in short you never have need to deal with non-gay peoplel  On the other hand, if you live in the central valley, you are in a mostly non-gay world and you have to seriously consider whether you want to be one of the visible people by participating in a march.  San Diego is different; it is a big enough city to have a vibrant gay life, but the culture and economy here are rooted in the very non-gay (or rather non-publicly gay) defense industry.  Thus, in San Diego it is very likely that as a gay person, I work with non-gay people and shop at non-gay stores and it is likely that those people are aware that I am gay.  It is likely that I can be comfortable participating in a march because I know I won’t get fired for it, but it is also likely that I know a large number of people who are uncomfortable with gay marriage (as evidenced by the fact that Proposition 8 passed).  Therefore, the need to make a stand is obvious but the risks of doing so are minimal.

That said, one of the truly great things I noticed about the march on Saturday was the number of straight people holding signs, etc.  We will not win this war without support from our straight friends.

The only thing you can truly change is your own mind, but that can be enough to change the world.

I’ve been here before.

After the passage of an anti-gay measure in my state, people all over the country are protesting and counter protesting.  The press is speculating what executive orders the Democratic president-elect will do in his first days in office, and the gay press is calling for him to something for the LGBT community.  The larger economic news is grim and on the home front we’re ratcheting down our expenses.

Is it 2008 or 1992?

Some things are different this time, though.

This time the economic news is much worse and at home we’re facing more uncertainties.  At least in 1992 we both had stable jobs.

This time there aren’t calls for boycotting my state.  The 1992 boycott of Colorado had the untended consequence of killing several gay and lesbian businesses in the state.  I would like to believe that we as a community learned from that experience an that’s why there are no calls for boycotting California, but I know the reality is that it is impossible to boycott California businesses since California drives so much of the national economy.

Still, I see parallels: In 1992, a group in New York called for a boycott of Celestial Seasonings tea because it is a Colorado company.  They didn’t realize that Celestial Seasonings as a company and its owner as an individual had been friends of LGBT causes for years.  These days I get e-mails saying we should boycott certain businesses “because they have high ranking executives that are Mormons”.  Some of the names on the list are noted for their support of LGBT events and causes.  Like 1992 we have to think through such calls to action and see if they will really hurt our friends.

I see parallels: In 1992 there were ongoing protests in the state after the elections.  The good news this time is that the efforts appear to be more coordinated.  The bad news is that they occasionally have been accompanied by fighting and destruction of property.  This does not do our cause any good.  We have to be better than those who oppose us; we must take the high ground or we will have no ground to stand on.

Some things are different than 1992 though.  Last weekend I went to the big local (straight) square dance event.  I was comfortable dancing as part of same-sex couples, mixed sex couples, and sometimes opposite gender couples (i.e. me dancing the girl’s part and a woman dancing the boy’s part).  If anyone was uncomfortable with that, they didn’t show it.  Many of the event organizers asked why there weren’t more LGBT people at the event, and the people promoting similar events made a point of telling me that they wanted to see more LGBT people at their events.  We’ve come a long way from the days when callers were shunned if they worked LGBT dances.  This is a community has met us more than half way; it’s now our responsibility to get over our prejudice and support them.

I’m writing this as I wait for a friend to come over so we can make signs for today’s national day of protest against Proposition 8.  Just like 1992, it will be a long fight.  But I believe, just like 1996, we will prevail.

This all feels familiar….

I am in San Diego watching the election returns.  I moved to a new city about 2 years ago and this the first national election since.  The country is electing a Democratic president and I am worried about the outcome of an anti-gay initiative in my state. The year is 1992.

Election night 2008 is shaping up to be similar.  As I write this, McCain has given his concession speech and Obama has given his acceptance speech.  Unfortunately, in a reflection of 1992, it looking like Proposition 8 is passing and with almost the same margin that Amendment 2 did in 1992.  Amendment 2 removed gays and lesbians from all anti-discrimination laws in the state of Colorado; Proposition 8 removes the right of gays and lesbians to marry in the state.

If there is a silver lining, it is that that the 1992 election was not the end of the Amendment 2 story.  When Amendment 2 passed, it was immediately litigated.  The case eventually went to the U.S. Supreme Court (”Romer vs. Evans”).  The ruling marked the first time the Court the court had ever ruled in favor of the gay and lesbian side in a case.  This case immediately overturned similar laws in several states and set the stage for the 2003 ruling that struck down sodomy laws around the country.

If history repeats, we may see Proposition 8 go to the Supreme Court as well, and there the full implications of a state constitutional amendment that “identifies persons by a single trait and then denies them protection” will once again be reviewed and I believe, once again overturned.

(quote is from the Romer vs. Evans ruling)

I’ve been a theme park fan since the Magic Kingdom opened in Florida when I was 11.  One of the great things about Southern California is the abundance of theme parks.

In the year or so since I’ve had a season pass to Disneyland I’ve been there about once a month on average.  I’ve been there by myself, with a friend who’s a real all-things-Disney fan, with a group of bears, and for Gay Days.  I’ve been there for opening and for closing (different days), and I’ve been there for as little as one hour and as long as twelve.

So, I know the park pretty well, although I’m not one to spend the day counting ‘hidden Mickeys’, trading pins, or quoting specifications trivia.  I just go to enjoy the rides, marvel at the crowd management, and indulge in the escape.

Today I had the chance to see the park through new eyes.  I went with my friend Tom who was making his first visit.  A little morning rain kept the crowds away and moderated the temperature, so it was a nearly perfect day.  We were able to do most all the major rides and several of the minor ones and we never waited more than 20 minutes in any line.

But the thing I’ll remember from the day is sense of wonder in Tom’s eyes The details that I have taken for granted were all fascinating to him.  Twists and turns in the rides that I have come to expect were unexpected for him.   The rhythms of the crowds that are routine for me were novel for him.

By the end of the day I was noticing details I had missed before - the theming carried into the decor in a bathroom here, the way the lights are hidden there, the employee uniforms somewhere else - and experiencing the sense and sensation - in the Tiki bird show, I noticed the the music rather than the sound of the audio animatronic componentry; on Space Mountain I didn’t anticipate the track’s twists and dips, I simply enjoyed the motion they produced.

I note the irony in finding this reality in a place of such carefully constructed fantasy.  Perhaps the lesson is that there is magic all around us.  This, I think, is what is meant by Jesus when he said we have to ‘become like children’ (Matthew 18:3).  Sometimes it just takes seeing the world through new eyes.